Fantasies: those (not so) secret scenarios that turn up the heat

We all have fantasies. Sometimes it's straight out of a romantic movie… sometimes it’s a naughty thought that sneaks into your shower routine. These intimate ideas are part of our erotic lives—whether we keep them tucked away in a quiet corner of our minds or choose to share (or even act on) them.

But why do we fantasize? Is it “normal” to have desires that feel… unexpected? And most importantly, should you talk about them with your partner—or not? Let’s dive into this fascinating, no-judgment zone where imagination rules and freedom leads the way.

Why do we have fantasies (and should we be worried?)

Fantasies are kind of like the Cannes Film Festival. Sometimes you get a romantic comedy, an action flick, a steamy thriller… and occasionally, a totally WTF short film that shows up unannounced.

Spoiler alert: it's all perfectly normal.

A little mental escape

Fantasizing is how the brain takes a (re)creative break. It’s a free zone—no life vests, no “do not enter” signs.

A tiny bubble of mental intimacy where you get to explore your desires, without consequences… or laundry to do after.

A mix of emotions (and hormones)

Our brain loves to play bartender. A splash of adrenaline, a shot of dopamine, a drop of oxytocin… and boom—a strong cocktail that fires up your imagination. Result? Urges, impulses, and sometimes a totally unexpected scenario arriving out of nowhere.

What does it really mean to fantasize?

Having a fantasy doesn’t necessarily mean you want to make it real. It’s more like a daydream you watch go by with a sly smile. Sometimes it just lingers in your head like an old video you never rewatch. And other times, it sparks the urge to shoot season 2 of a very personal series…

The biggest hits (and a few unexpected gems)

Everyone has their own fantasy universe, but some themes are true classics. They come back again and again—sometimes subtly, sometimes loud and proud—floating through curious minds… and even popping up in conversation.

There are as many fantasies as there are pizza toppings… (minus the pineapple, obviously). Here’s a quick tour of the “greatest hits” on the pleasure menu.

1️⃣ Roleplay

Who hasn’t dreamed of being someone else for a night (or a steamy moment)? A strict teacher, a caring nurse, the plumber who comes to “fix a leak”... Fantasies don’t need an Oscar—just a little imagination. Slipping into a role is a fun way to break routine, escape daily life, and co-write a scene where everyone ends up satisfied. (Well, hopefully ?)

❤️ Why do we love it?
Because becoming someone else, breaking the rules, and making up your own storyline is exciting, playful, and freeing. And let’s be honest—getting “arrested” in the bedroom is a lot more fun than in real life.

⛓️ BDSM (soft or spicier)

Handcuffs, blindfolds, rules, chaos... Welcome to a playground where power flows, shifts, and returns. You don’t need to go full Christian Grey dungeon mode: a well-placed spanking, a whisper in a commanding tone, or a blindfold can do the trick. It’s all about trust, communication… and tons of sensation. (And no, it’s not just about women being submissive!)

❤️ Why do we love it?
Because playing with control and surrender awakens parts of the body—and the mind. The mix of excitement, vulnerability, and deep connection makes for a powerful blend. Bonus: it releases endorphins. Like exercise… but way sexier.

3️⃣ Exhibitionism and voyeurism

Some like to be watched, others prefer to peek unnoticed… and some fantasize about both. It’s a game of glances, tension, subtle exposure, or perfectly measured discretion. Knowing someone’s watching can give you chills—just like catching a scene you weren’t “supposed” to see.

❤️ Why do we love it?
Because the forbidden is thrilling. The idea of being seen at the “wrong” time—or seeing what you’re not supposed to—triggers a rush of adrenaline. And deep down, being desired and admired feeds both your ego and your senses.

♻️ Group fantasies

Threesomes, swinging, cuckolding (that’s when you enjoy watching your partner with someone else)… these scenarios often top the fantasy charts—even among the shyest. It’s not just about numbers—it’s about intensity, curiosity, and a dash of transgression. Sometimes, just imagining your partner with someone else… or joining a three-way dance (or more) sends your mind into overdrive.

❤️ Why do we love it?

Because it piques curiosity, shakes up the rules of monogamy, and adds that deliciously forbidden flavor. Stepping out of the usual frame taps into something primal… even if it all stays in your head.

According to a study by Justin Lehmiller (author of Tell Me What You Want), nearly 9 out of 10 people have fantasized about a group experience (in all sorts of combinations). So yeah… you’re not alone in your group fantasy ?

⚡ Wild or “spur-of-the-moment” sex

Sometimes it’s in an alley, a car, an elevator… or even the kitchen. This fantasy feeds on instinct, raw desire, and pure urgency. No time to think, no sensual playlist—just raw heat and tension, and that’s exactly what makes it so hot.

❤️ Why do we love it?
Because it’s the opposite of neat, organized sex. You follow the impulse, break the rules, ditch the routine. Your brain switches off, your body takes over—and sometimes, that’s the most freeing feeling of all.

6️⃣ The unattainable or the unknown

A charismatic coworker, a celebrity you’ll never meet, a glance exchanged on the train and—boom—your imagination runs wild. This fantasy plays with distance, mystery, and the thrill of “never quite within reach.” It’s pure projection, often silent… but seriously effective.

❤️ Why do we love it?
Because the unattainable never disappoints. It stays perfect, mysterious, untouched by reality. The forbidden excites, the unknown fascinates, and sometimes… one glance is enough to send your mind into overdrive.

7️⃣ Authority, power, hierarchy

That strict boss, the teacher with those serious glasses, the police officer writing you a very special “ticket”... These authority figures inspire scenarios where rules are made to be… bent. And sometimes, breaking them is the hottest part of the story.

❤️ Why do we love it?
Because there’s a thrill in being “disciplined”… while fully knowing you’re not going to behave. It’s sexy, slightly taboo, and it makes the scene even more intense.

How to talk about it (or not) with your partner

Talking about fantasies is kind of like showing what’s in your private browsing tabs—it’s intimate, maybe a little scary… but often very freeing. The idea isn’t to drop a full Netflix-style script during dinner, but to open the door gently and without pressure.

A few tips to make it easier:

• Skip the “I have something weird to tell you...” — not the best opener. Try “You know what I read/heard the other day? Got me thinking...”
• Use playful tools like erotic card games or a cheeky quiz.
• Make a little fantasy list, both of you. Compare, laugh… and see what sparks your mutual curiosity.
• And most importantly: no pressure. Share, listen, respect. It’s a conversation—not a demand.

Even if nothing happens afterward, just talking about it can strengthen your bond. Like a little secret only the two of you share.

How to bring a fantasy to life (without crashing on takeoff)

There’s a bridge between imagination and reality—but no need to jump blindly. If you and your partner want to explore a fantasy together, a few simple steps can turn it into a truly great experience.

Golden rules for a smooth ride:

• ✅ Consent must be clear, enthusiastic, and mutual. “I guess…” is not a yes.
• ✅ Set your boundaries beforehand: what’s okay, what’s not, and what’s open for discussion.
• ✅ Use a safe word if the fantasy is intense or involves roleplay.
• ✅ Take your time—no need for fireworks on the first try.

The goal isn’t to deliver an award-winning performance—it’s to enjoy the shared pleasure. And sometimes, it’s even hotter when you explore slowly, together, without pressure.

Accessories to bring your fantasies to life

Because sometimes, a little thing makes all the difference… Accessories aren’t there to replace the fantasy—they enhance it. A simple blindfold can spark a thousand ideas, a massage oil can awaken forgotten sensations, and a pair of dice can launch an unexpected evening:

➡️Some ideas for exploring—softly or boldly:

• Roleplay → a costume, a mask, an accessory... and off you go into a new world
• Gentle domination → handcuffs, blindfolds, feather ticklers, or crops—customize based on your mood
• Sensory play → warm candles, <a href="https://www.tentations.ch/en/85-massages" target="_blank" rel="noreferrer noop